Friday, November 26, 2010

5 Worst Comic Book Movies

With the completely underwhelming response to the new Green Lantern trailer it got me thinking about all of the horribly disappointing comic book adaptations we've been subjected to over the years. Here's a few shining examples.

5) Nick Fury: Agent of Shield

The Hoff as Nick Fury? What the fuck?!? Who decided this was a good plan? KITT would have been a more convincing Fury.

4) Captain America

Wow does this movie suck. Captain America has an extensive, distinguished history. None of that appears anywhere in this movie. The Red Skull as a bad plastic surgery patient just makes you want to kick the television.

3) Judge Dredd

One more potentially great film sucked into the Hollywood greed machine. Who needs to follow the source material when we can just blow shit up. The best part of the whole movie was Rob Schneider mocking Stallone's "I am the law".

2) Superman IV

It's not bad enough that the only villain featured in the Superman series is Lex Luthor (Ross Webster in Superman III was a Luthor clone) but we have to put up with Jon Cryer as his sidekick Lenny. And what do the fearsome duo of Lex and Lenny do? They shoot a strand of Superman's hair into the sun and create Ulti-Mullet.

1) Ghost Rider

You ever see a movie that's so bad that you want to set your whole living room on fire because it has now been tainted? That's Ghost Rider. If I ever get within reaching distance of Nicholas Cage I'm going to swing him around by his toupee for making this. Do we really need Johnny Blaze to be a Carpenter's fan? We can't have a badass motorcycle hero that listens to something a little more rocking? And every time Ghost Rider appears he says the dumbest shit. All he had to do was stand there and look cool with the flaming head. That would have made the film a little better. Not much, but every little bit counts.

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