Saturday, November 6, 2010

Due Date Movie Review

This is my first movie review so you'll have to bare with my inexperience and coarseness.

Went to see "Due Date" last night with the wife as part of a double feature at the drive in. What can I say? This movie fucking SUCKS!

You've seen the trailers, you know the plot - high strung straight man (Robert Downey Jr.) in trying to make it home for his child's birth is forced to make a cross country trip with wacky, colorful man (Zach Galifianakis). Along the way these clashing personalities get into merry hijinks, finally coming to a mutual understanding and respect. Awww, isn't that sweet? The sheer brilliance of this story almost makes you forget a little movie called Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

I have two major problems with this movie. First, it's not funny. I could live with the rehashing of P,T &A if it at least offered some of the laughs in the original. The funniest parts of the movie are what you've seen in the trailers. On top of the mediocre comedy, the film makers intertwine sappy melodrama with absolutely zero emotional impact. As I watched the movie I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be a funny drama or a serious comedy. Either way, it fails.

My second issue with the film is Zach Galifianakis. Apparently I missed the big meeting when the entire world decided this fucktard is funny and should be put in movies. I have to preface my rant by saying I've never seen The Hangover so I maybe missing something, but in watching this film I am not impressed. How hard is it to play a fat, funny pot smoker? It could be that I'm biased because I know a lot of heavyset smokers with a penchant for comedy, but come on! This goofy bearded bastard prances (yep, he fucking prances) around the screen and gives ridiculous speeches on his outlook on life. He's like a mutant love child of Will Ferrell and Seth Rogen that has all of their annoying tendencies and none of their comedic talent. When you watch Robert Downey Jr's interactions with him you get the feeling that the anger is real and this movie was a contractual obligation.

Due Date also features an unfunny cameo by Juliette Lewis and a mildly entertaining cameo by Jamie Foxx. Not really sure how these two could have been put to better use to save this piece of crap. It's actually kind of disheartening when you see them. They give you a false hope that something funny is about to happen, only to be let down.

The only high point I can give this movie is the killer soundtrack - Cream, Pink Floyd, Sam and Dave. Your money would better spent buying the soundtrack and going on your own cross country trip. It would be funnier.

Since this is my first review I have to institute a rating scale. Stars have been overused, thumbs suck, using letter or numbers is just plain lazy. The official Celebrity Amateur Nudes unit of measurement is - Flaming Midgets. This movie receives one out of a possible five Flaming Midgets.

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